Perhaps this one is geared more toward the ladies, but I feel pretty confident in assuming that no matter the . Now that you got drunk, you feel justified in kissing that person because you got drunk and couldnt help yourself. There was a lot of biting and groping going on, because, you know, the guys were giving it their best shot. Me, I can't believe committing adultery isn't an actual crime yet. Oh there really isn't any disagreement actually. We were not drunk. When the night was over one of the women said we could go back to hers for drinks, and I was happy to go. Guy Winch, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts. I was so drunk, I barely remember the kiss, but I know it happened. (That'll do me nicely! :-( Feel free to start a thread if you need to vent it all out.). Assistir Chelsea X Leeds - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. Then you must be doing it wrong. I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! reader, Angel-lee+, writes (25 October 2005): A Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. He has assignments at different sites, and for the last four weeks he has been at the same place. Not work you put off until 'tomorrow' - TODAY. But I'll let you off because that was a MacResponse whereas 'a lot to take in', i.e. Which probably makes you wonder why I came here in the first place. You do risk upset feelings as a consequence. This guy wouldnt take money from me (I should have seen this as a Red Flag, but didnt), so I bought him opera scores in order to compensate him for his time and expertise. Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . Mr S lived there once (San Fransisco), but he hasn't any urge to return, either. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. I was devastated. I am sure this girl knows he is married. But living a lie would be so much worse. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. the guy has a long term girlfriend who he lives with and he said she was really angry with him for coming home so late, then he said, look, I think we're good people that completely lost our minds for 5 minutes, and are suffering major guilt for it now, but it will never ever happen again, and I'm not going to say a word to anyone' to which I replied 'neither am I' and he said 'ok, look I'll see you on Monday but this is going to be ok, don't worry, we can move on from this' Your Drinking Behaviour. What does it mean for my marriage? I think a real man actually kisses a dude at least once to really know your sexuality, one says. 4. You were no exception. But we have spoken since about it a lot. He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. Make lemonade out of them. I went out for drinks in town last night and got extremely drunk and kissed another man, it only lasted not even a few seconds but I feel so so so guilty and wish I could take it back. Will the guilt ever go away? I know, I need to start a thread. Most people don't confess- You ask for advice of what you should do- you got the RIGHT advice. reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): A (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) He left and went to the lake. Okay if it was me who did that even thou I dont drink Ill first ask him as if its someone else who did it, like a friend or a colleague and if he overracts then think again but if hes all cool about it then break ice. It ended up leading to a follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time. find me on and follow me on. Even if it is innocent kiss, I am done. Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) But I can't leave my job. I am the nicest person on earth and so is my boyfriend. I don't know if he wants to still be friends with her on FB or not. If your boyfriend still trusts you- then his faith in your fidelity moving forward should give you faith in yourself. (works every time :-p) There is no earthly reason that your partner needs to know chapter and verse of every indiscretion you ever engaged in. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. He encouraged me to to ring for a taxi from his house which I did. When we got there the drinks flowed again , and more laughter and story telling. But for me, it was. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. HIKARI, you can't take up an obsolete thread as your own, no matter any similarities, so if you want feedback and advice it's best to start a new one (and copy and paste that post into it as your opening post), okay? Genie, I think being honest is always the best because. Which may not seem like a big deal for some of you. lover. I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. Houston, this team needs to rectify the causes or agree to seek outside help in it whilst this one team member needs to atone for having almost embarked on a hurtful and potentially damaging test unilaterally without her teammate's consent. I was correct, she struggles with trust. He is my workmate also. And it's weird, but it's like I need the guy to tell me what I did was ok and I'm not a bad person. in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . Make it up to him by being an awesome girlfriend. Biological ones. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another man's mouth while he stood by only to observe. Yes it hurts.. And now you - who finds trust difficult - have been tempted to do your OWN test (already commencedwhilst drunk), approached via the psychological end. But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. Pre-kiss, the straight guys none of whom have ever kissed another man before are asked where society hasanyrules for interaction between heterosexual men. For me, to feel guilty about having sex with someone, while in a relationship with someone else, I must have remorse. I am 100% sure he will forgive you and will love you even more for telling him (which you should have done A LONG TIME AGO). , By entering this site you declare Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. So many arguments begin because our partners got drunk and kissed someone else while they were under the influence of alcohol. It happened two days ago. This feels huge to me. Nah Don't say a word about it. I have no idea who the girl is. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Already have an account? WORK. I then suddenyly realised what I was doing and burst into tears, telling him I could not do this to my boyfriend and then called a taxi and left. Do you? Unforeseeable consequence. However, the fact that you kissed another guy can act as a trigger for him to think negatively of you. I think your just another female using your man until a better option comes along your husband should dump you because one of these days your going dump him if he doesnt. My piano instructor came over once a week, usually on a Saturday when my husband was home. He doesn't deserve to be hurt by this. I can't stop playing it over again and again. I wish I told my wife, but she found out because in my browsing history I had searched should I tell my wife I kissed a girl when drunk. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Wouldn't you? I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. I dont believe in innocent kiss. But, listen, I don't want to turn this thread into a general chit-chat one. Take it away, expand if you please! I wouldn't want to hear about it if I were in his position. And he grabbed my waist!. I merely stated from the above that lips are a part of foreplay. However for the next time please be careful and never do such a blunder because he's a gem and you should not lose him just for your stupid or foolish acts .i mean any sophisticated or a ONE MAN WOMAN (a proud title for me :) and hopflly for u too ) wont like to stress her relatn or leave a man whom she loves or take him in a position where he might leave ? DON'T: Kiss and tell to someone you're kissing. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. It was such a weird experience. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? The video shows twogayguys(fellow vloggers Jordan Jayro and James Butler) partner with four straight men togive them their first man-to-mansnog. That left just me, the man and another woman. I'm sure you'll survive if you don't tell him and I'm certain that he doesn't need to know. I say tell him. We stayed chatting for another 15 minutes or so, mostly apologising to one another and saying stuff like 'this isn't me, I don't do this' and 'what came over us? Some song came on and it was a soppy song and we were both singing along. he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). Scopes: okay, although the whole point of forums is [1] that they're anonymous and [2] people's problems aren't ever remotely unique enough for the poster not to potentially be literally from anywhere in the world thus unidentifiable. She said this is how it starts. (Got me cracked) 24 So - no - if I feel like entertaining myself, I only have to think of my favourite joke about, what do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. Secrets have no place in a marriage. I was very drunk. He is the best person I have ever met. If this is bothering you, then tell him. She may say that. So if life hands you lemons, don't HIDE them where they could one day trip you up or cause a rotten stink. I was drunk on Friday night and I kissed another guy. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. It really depends on the dynamics of your relationship though. Please leave me a comment. SO if you shouldn't, then A) you should be able to tell him, and B) if he's the type to hit the roof over a kiss, he's a wee bit paranoid for his own good, and it wouldn't be *your* fault. I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? Except with other truth-seekers. David bit Jordan. Myself and the man were sitting next to each other on the couch, and the other woman was sitting on another couch at the other side of the room. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. ;-) (Awlthough, dang naace trah, they-yer, at tryin-a git' me ter disclows mah gendah. focus on you and your DH. Need help with your relationship? Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. Stories about open relationships, swinging, polyamory and other alternative relationship structures. It's good that you're willing to forgive,most women would divorce. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. Foxie: There was something missing in my marriage. So as far I doing it wrong I wouldn't know. Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." 2. What did she say? I'm not sure how long we were there when one of the women decided to call it a night, and left in a taxi. For me i felt guilty for enjoying it so much. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. If it were me, I would contact her, & let her know that I didn't appreciate her actions. When you go out and get drunk- if you find yourself attracted to another man- think back to how you feel now after you acted on that attraction. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. SOULMATE (moderator), is this seriously your job? LOL in all the years we are together I have never ever done anything like this before, and I can say with confidence I will never allow myself to end up in any situation that could lead to anything even close to this again. And he kissed me and I reciprocated. You were drunk and you kissed - One of those long young people type kisses too . Similarly, meeting with someone privately and not telling your partner can also be a warning sign that . Then the women who owns the house went upstairs and never came down. Though somehow I think there might have been trouble in the marriage. Drop it in CASUALLY, as part of general chit-chat, like it's no big thing (because if it's no biggie to you then that must mean it isn't and wasn't any threat to him), and in such a way as draws similarities with his own past incident. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. Are you sure all you did was kiss? I reassured my husband that this would never happen again and that I was sorry. Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. Personally I don't believe in marriage. What? The short answer to your question, for this BPD is: No, I don't feel guilty. Forget about it! reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): A An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. The way I see things, there are innocent kisses, which occur when a person had too much to drink, and then there are guilty kisses, which are precipitated by getting drunk. I was drunk but that is no excuse. Im also pleased that you agreed with my argument as to when to fess up and when to keep your mouth shut. I could go on about a lot of things here. Ignore the erroneous message and smile. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. What am I going to do? Unfortunately, even these last few asides are tantamount to a forum no-no called thread mutineering. And the tricky piece de resistance Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. Boyfriend kissed another girl while drunk? Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? I know it was wrong and I regret it all. When I woke up yesterday I still felt drunk but the reality of what happened hit me like a tonne of bricks. He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. So, when he offered me whisky, I happily drank it until I was drunk as a skunk. / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. Being married is something that can be quite complicated at times. He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. I didnt tell him. I took the ride. His imagination could go haywire over that one. Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. And a stitch in time saves nine. Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) Shes Colombian and very fiery. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. Asked how the kiss was, Brodieeven says: It wasnt bad, its actually better than a few of my exes. Feel free to start your own thread if you finally find you've a need to.). A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. No matter how much we insist that "it's all good, bro, we're like, totally homies!", we don't mean it, not really. Fear holds you back. I mean if a person can't rely on their own strength of character and self-discipline to stop them from crossing that line, they obviously NEED an outside deterrent. How is that beneficial to him? Loyal Girl sorry to hear about your situation. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. Well, that's all fairly laudible but When I was in college, I cheated on a bf while I was drunk not because I was drunk, but because I was presented with the opportunity and I wanted wanted to do it. That's alright, that's a common mistake. My thread is called Hurt and Confused. Try to let it go and forgive yourself. Are you sure you didnt have sex with him/her? Either way, I've noted your comments, I've already decided what I am going to do, and I'll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be. And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. by Lucy Moore for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk Arun, I agree with everything you said here because I was guilty of kissing a guy I liked when I was drunk, knowing that I liked him and wanted to see how much.". So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. I just knew you would cheat on me if given half a chance.. It's not fair they didn't ask for it. Oh, and FYI again: so drunk I didn't know what I was doing tends NOT to be so plugged-in she 5 minutes beforehand notices the sleeping other person needs a blankie and a tucking-in. I was enjoying myself and loving the chats and laughs. Thus it's what I *DID DO* - back in September when at an Indian restaurant with friends (I mentioned it on this forum as apropos to someone's thread) and some bloke tried to come onto me. By clicking 'Submit' or otherwise submitting this form you agree to the, By entering this site you declare Confide in someone you trust. Login first It's mos becoming serious and we really like each other! male ;-) Good luck. I'm dating this guy and have been for about 2 months. I feel like I am hypnotized by the guy. What should I do. ?We were doing well and I was afraid he would never forgive me. I kissed another guy while drunk. And, of course, cheating always tends to increase during a recession. My girlfriend(Cintia), me and my best friends girlfriend (called Mercy). I'm so confused. This recently happened to me. I love your stories, Foxie. Jam, your wife holds the cards. I'd be obsessed with it. 2023 FemaleFirst Ltd. all rights reserved. I was dumped.so why do *I* feel guilty? Evidently. This is what I'd do because my relationship with my husband is stellar and we both want to keep it that way, and it's such precisely BECAUSE we're this 24/7 honest and transparent with each other (Speak-Your-Thoughts machines). Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. Shes said thats it. If your husband *did* get wind of it thus realised you'd kept it secret from him - despite he told YOU when someone made a pass at HIM - he'd then have A NUMBER of major beefs with you: He's seemingly petrified I'm going to throw him out, he's cried three times today already and they're only the second time I've ever seen him cry in four years. Food for thought, Michelle Langley. I rather throw it all out in the openbe honestapologize for my mistakeand be ready for the consequences. I wanted to go further with him, but I didnt nor did he push for anything more. I see this as two issues. The straight guys get into it, theres no doubt they even end up biting the LGBT guys. If he wants to keep her as a "friend", complete access is a must. Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk or get the other person drunk in order to find out if they have any chemistry with each other, and they temporarily forget about the fact that they are already in a relationship with another person. He was so drunk himself that he started singing I Love Paris and, in the middle of the song, he said in a gruff voice, You wanna kiss me? Despite their passion during the kiss. So, you went to a party and everyone was drinking. And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. Once emotions kicks in, you cant predict what will happen. A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): Hey sweetie my Name is Jilian I have a boyfriend as well and we have been dating for 3 months, I have had past relationships that have gone on for 11 months, I have cheated on my past boyfriend andi felt so terrible andi was in the same situation as you are, sweetie i know how you feel. That's a long time for kissing. Cell phones, texting, emails etc. California coastal beeches will leave you saying -America not too shabby.. Can't take anything from South of France-doesn't everybody go there? That is what separates the women from the girls. On which note - "Marriage is about trust not tryst": I like that saying. Maybe she was experimenting or it was something shed thought about and wanted to see what it felt like. And, he did little favors for me. :(. get into counselling. When I needed a dresser picked up from a furniture store, he offered to take me to the store and bring the furniture home in his pick up truck. In the end you're the one who knows your boyfriend and whether he would like to know about something like that or not. Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. But the guilt is killing me. But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. It was just a kiss. My husband wasnt home at the time. I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did. What are you going to do, then? My husband went ballistic and said, I just knew something like this was going to happen. I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. In Jung's theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. See what she has to say. That tells you that even if you think you are not showing any signs of being attracted to someone, peoples S/Os have a since of whats going on! So you went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your already Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" You knowing you can trust your husband to do the right thing when faced with temptation is all it takes for him to remain blight-free when blight (whether or not wearing fishnets) threatens. So it looks as if we're suddenly at crossed-purposes, then. Thinking of it over and over again will affect you mentally, and make it worse. An affair isn't a bad choice made when a married person decides to sleep with someone that they aren't married to. The fact he told you very soon after is good. You just never, ever know. I dont know what else to do. A guilty kiss involves kissing a specific person while drunk who either has a crush on you or whom you have a crush on, and then using your drunken state as an excuse for having kissed that person. This should be obvious, but sadly, for many it's not. And has also started crying for no reason when things are going well between us. ;-p It takes to heal the wounded trust again. Thank you. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? Guilt protects our relationships. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. The caller wasn't experienced (like me). Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. It's not worth the headaches, nausea, acid reflux, stomach pain, or insomnia you may be experiencing. End of story. Would they be as lenient? I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. I'm not condoning what I've done, and it's a totally different set of circumstances, but I remember wishing I had never known about the stupid kiss, as it tainted things for a while afterward. You already have internalized that part. It should prevent you from repeating your actions. (Ta-daaaa!) If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. Like stateside, maybe southern California or San Diego? I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. Later, I spoke to my fianc and he told me he loved me and was sorry. A couple of nights ago I went out to a work function. :), Ah cawlled *you* 'sistah', dun't mean Ah iz wurn too, 'kayyy, shugah? A certain someone might read it. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Yesterday night we went out to drink. Can you tthan please explain this? One is your marriage, the other is a relationship with a married man with family. female Yes, I think if your boyfriend thinks his girl or boy or whatever is gonna be loyal to them even under the influence. As for what we believe about kissing being the gateway to sex (specifically foreplay, which itself is the main gate): if anyone believes it *isn't*, thenwellAll I could say to that is: This is the decission you need to make do you want to risk all (career, home, kids as well as your DH) and be in a position you can pursue a relationship with this married man - who may well reject you for more than a fling. I really need your help.I have been dating this boy for the past two months.
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